Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
