Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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