when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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