I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
