Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize