You smell like a Billy Joel song
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
