South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize