the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
