Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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