remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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