I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
