I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Randomize
