I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
