I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
