Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Randomize
