New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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