I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
birth control should be required to get into college
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Did I show you my penis last night?
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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