I heard we made out
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Randomize
