Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Randomize
