that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
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