I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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