whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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