Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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