It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
