glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Congratulations! We have a period
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
