i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Randomize
