your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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