oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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