All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Come on in and take your pants off
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
