Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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