Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
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