11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
