i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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