I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
