hotel room ftw
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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