I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
