It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
ok first of all what the fuck
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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