Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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