Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
