im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I believe in your delicious
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize