you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Randomize
