Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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