spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
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