you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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