She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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