Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
