How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
