And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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