Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Randomize
