her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
