I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Randomize
