my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
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