We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
