i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
