I'll bet she douches with gravy.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
