please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
