you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Randomize
