omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize