whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
In other news, I just burned my penis
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I'm bleeding and have questions
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
