Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
