i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
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